This collection of jokes is by my cartoonist buddy, Randy Enos!
Email Randy Enos
Visit Randy’s archive –Daryl
My favorite thing in the whole world next to making pictures is telling jokes. I have a goodly collection that I’ve amassed over the years. I don’t know where I’ve heard most of them but, one in particular came from a Paul Newman movie. I think I’ve found a few in movies. I’m talking about just the everyday “guy walks into a bar” type of jokes.
A few years back, I decided to try something that I’ve never seen done before and actually illustrate some of these favorites of mine. My emphasis was on the picture making and the words were secondary but served as a catalyst for my cartoon abstractions. I’m including some of these here in my article. They may be a little hard to read in this format but you’ll get the all over picture of how I transformed my favorite jokes into color linocut semi-abstractions.
I’ll write out a couple of my jokes here.
This is my favorite joke of all time. I think it is a Soupy Sales joke:
A duck goes into a grocery store and says, “Do you have any duck food?”
The guy says “No”.
Duck goes in the next day and says, “You got any duck food?”
Guy says, “No”.
Duck goes in the next day and says, “You got any duck food?”
The guy says, “No”.
Duck goes in the next day and says, “You got any duck food?”
The guy says, “Listen, I told you I haven’t got any duck food. If you come in again, I’ll nail your little web feet to the floor!”
Duck goes in the next day and says, “You got any nails?”
Guy says, “No”.
Duck says………… “You got any duck food?”
Here’s my current second favorite joke (I haven’t gotten around to illustrate this one yet but I will):
A guy is walking along Madison Avenue in New York and, in the crowd of people coming toward him he thinks he sees a familiar face. As the face gets closer he recognizes it and says, “Harry… is that you?”
Harry says, “My God, Joe, I haven’t seen you in so long! How are you? I remember seeing you all the time years ago. You were always with another guy. I remember now, if I saw you, I’d see this other guy with you … you guys were inseparable, what was his name?”
“Oh, that was Fred” says Joe. “It’s funny you should mention him because he just died last week”!
“Oh, no, what happened, he was a young healthy guy, right?”
“It was freak accident”.
Harry said, “What happened to him?”
“Well, he came into Grand Central one morning, like he always did to go to his job at the Port Authority and it was a real nice warm day so he decided not to take a cab up as he usually did. Instead he decided to walk, so, he goes up the big stairway and out and up 43rd St. to 8th Avenue and takes a left on the corner and just then a huge cement block comes off the top of a building and hits him on the head and kills him instantly”!
Harry says, “OH MY GOD WHAT A WAY TO GO”!
“I know” says Joe, “I would have gone straight up 42nd St and….”.
Another one I heard the same day I heard that one, goes like this:
A guy is driving home after he’s been shopping and suddenly remembers that his wife made a big point of telling him to buy some salt and he didn’t. Jeez, he realizes that she’s going to kill him but he’s far from the grocery store and doesn’t have time to go back. Just then he sees the lights of a little shop that he’s never seen before. As he gets closer, he realizes it’s a little tiny general store. “Maybe they’ve got salt” he hopes and pulls in. The shop is empty except for the owner, a little old guy.
“You got any salt?” he says.
“SALT… you’re looking for salt? Have I got salt? You see all those boxes along the top shelf over there? That’s all salt, my friend. You see the shelf under it… more boxes… that’s all salt. Look over there, you see those bags all along that wall, that’s salt. Now, follow me!”
He takes the guy down into the basement.
“You see all those barrels all around the room here? SALT!”
My, God, says the guy, “Are you going to be able to sell all this salt?”
The owner says, “No, I can’t sell salt worth a damn… BUT, the guy that sells me salt………. BOY, can he sell SALT!”
That’s another one I have yet to illustrate.
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Read many more of Randy’s cartooning memories:
A Day With Jonathan Winters and Carol Burnett
The Fastest Illustrator in the World!
Take it Off … Take it ALL Off!
The Funniest Cartoon I’ve Ever Seen
The Beatles had a Few Good Tunes
The Gray Lady (The New York Times)
Man’s Achievements in an Ever Expanding Universe
The Smallest Cartoon Characters in the World
Brought to You in Living Black and White
Art School Days in the Whorehouse
The Card Trick that Caused a Divorce
8th Grade and Harold von Schmidt
The Funniest Man I’ve Ever Known
Read “I’m Your Bunny, Wanda –Part One”
Read “I’m Your Bunny, Wanda –Part Two”
Famous Artists Visit the Famous Artists School